Operation Hooman Recovery
(Ming lounges on the couch. Bruns paces anxiously.)
BRUNS: Ming! Emergency! Human is sick! What do we do?!
MING: (Yawns) Hmmm. Sounds like a "you" problem.
BRUNS: No, it’s an "us" problem! Hooman feeds us! Without hooman—no treats!
MING: (Gasps) This is serious. What’s the diagnosis?
(Hooman is lying in bed, sniffling, surrounded by tissues.)
BRUNS: Temperature high, energy low, movements sluggish! This is bad!
MING: Classic case of "Floppy Human Syndrome." Prognosis? Unclear.
BRUNS: We need a plan! What’s the protocol?!
The Plan
(Ming dramatically points to a paw-drawn chart labeled "Operation Human Recovery." It has three phases.)
MING: Phase One: Warmth. I curl up on their lap, creating the perfect heat pad.
BRUNS: And I snuggle beside them for emotional support!
Distraction Tactics
(Ming nonchalantly bats a toy mouse. Bruns tilts his head.)
BRUNS: What’s Phase Two?
MING: Entertainment. I perform dramatic tail flicks and sudden zoomies. Keeps their spirits up.
BRUNS: I’ll bring them my favorite squeaky toy!
MING: Right. Just… not in their face. Remember last time?
Nutritional Support
(Bruns proudly presents a chewed-up biscuit. Ming looks skeptical.)
BRUNS: Phase Three: Food! I share my treat!
MING: (Eye-roll) They can’t eat that. I’ll leave a freshly caught sock instead. It’s soft, comforting, and smells like them.
(Both pets settle beside hooman. Ming is curled up, purring. Bruns gently places his toy near hooman's hand.)
BRUNS: Think it’s working?
MING: Purring indicates a 63% improvement in mood. We’re on the right track.
(Hooman sleepily reaches out and pats them both, smiling.)
HOOMAN: Best… pets… ever…
BRUNS: (Ming) Mission accomplished.
MING: Affirmative.
(They share a victorious paw bump.)
END.
